A WORD on KARMA (or Mary's Trip into the Realm of Philosophy-A Subject She Always Got Bs in in College So You've Been Warned)

One of my favorite ice cream stores in Manhattan is located just down the street from my apartment. It's called Emack and Bolios, and it's special for many many reasons. It is probably the only place in the City where you will find "Grasshopper Pie" ice cream, which is a blend of mint, oreos, fudge, and heaven. Also, once, on a day off, I discovered that if you happened by there on a weekday afternoon you will discover the entire crew of St Vincent's Hospital interns (in their scrubs!! Can you stand it?) enjoying a frozen treat. What I love most about Emack and Bolio's, however, is their Tip Cup. It isn't made out of anything particularly special, but taped to it is a hand-drawn sign that says "Tip for Good Karma."

Karma is the concept that "what goes around comes around." We've also heard the familiar phrase "Karma's a bitch." Well, bitch or not, I have always been a strong believer in karma. What it comes down to is this: the universe has a poetic way of balancing itself out. Since we were old enough to watch cartoons we've seen the images of the angel and devil that reside on each of our shoulders, regulating our conscience. Karma is the force that applies justice when our angel breaks down on the side of the road, and our devils win (I just lifted that from "The Family Guy," by the way, maybe Seth McFarlane-who is a HOTTIE-will come to my house and sue me now...). Anyway-back from that digression-Emack and Bolio's deftly points out that rewards for having good karma exist as well. Good karma is the belief that we will ultimately receive good in exchange for the good that we've done...helping a friend through a crisis, taking the "high road", tipping the hard-working fellow who has just made you a delicious grasshopper ice cream cone. Good karma finds you when your angels win.

The bare-bones, to-the-core reason why I so blindly believe in the School of Karma is because in our daily lives I see a lot of things that just don't balance out. One of the areas in which I have the biggest problem with this is in our interpersonal relationships. It drives me wild that people who have treated others (and, alright, me) badly go on to find happiness, whether it be from another person (alright, particularly another person), success, wealth, fame, a puppy dog, a yacht, and other variations of what American society teaches that happiness comes in. At the root of why this gets to me, however, is the idea of evolution. When we are put here on this planet, life happens to us. The essential thing about this is that we are supposed to take lessons from these experiences, using them to grow as complex individuals. When a person does wrong and fails to repent from this, or even to realize it, karma-the-bitch receives a message on her blackberry:

Case #23208. File attached. Lesson completely lost on this loser. Apply pain accordingly.

Apply pain accordingly. Accordingly. Within our own society we have a legal system which dictates that the punishment a criminal receives should be in proportion to the thought processes that he or she went through in his or her decision to commit this crime. In other words, the punishment should fit the crime. For instance, we have first and second degree murder charges. The punishment for first-degree murder is stricter because a first-degree murder was pre-meditated, whereas a second-degree murder was not pre-meditated (ie, it was the tragic results of a situation that got out of control, the perpetrator did not approach with the intention of killing). It is my belief that karma is applied in degrees as well, based on how much the wrong-doer truly meant to do wrong. The punishment for a person who was deliberately duplicitous (woo, check me out with my SAT words) is far worse than the punishment for someone who did not originally intend to betray.

The bottom line is that we're all human, and we've all done things we aren't proud of. I like to think that the universe keeps a chalk board on each of us. As we live our lives and make our choices, we "write" on this board. When we do something that is pure of heart, it gets documented, and when the universe rewards us, it erases and makes room for our next deed. When we do something sleezy, it goes up on the board-and is erased when it is clear that we've fully learned that what we did sucked and we'll never do it again. Like a drain that is gradually clogging, you don't want to let your bad karma get out of hand. It could cause a flood!

But what to with the people in your life who've committed crimes against you or those you love? If we could take people to court for every offense we'd never get anything done! Well, now its time to have faith and believe in lovely Karma. As I stated in the beginning, the universe is essentially balanced, though it may seem that someone got away with an act of karmic homicide, there is now chalk all over their board, which will be erased-even if karma-the-bitch takes a few months, or even a few decades to get around to wiping it off. In the meantime, its crucial for us to move on...there is no reason to stick around with our noses pressed up against the glass waiting for the show to begin. The most important thing to remember is this: it isn't our job to apply justice. Karma tends to do a MUCH better job of that anyway.

To back up all that I have just said, I will defer to perhaps the greatest movie of all time, The Sound of Music:
"Nothing comes from nothing. Nothing ever could. So, somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good."

And that's about what I had to say on that.