A WORD on What's in My Wallet

What it is about searching through other people's wallets? I, for one, have always found it fascinating. From the time I was in the Seventh Grade, and I carried this horrendous "pleather" black-watch plaid billfold from Claire's (oh girl, you know you had one too), I've always been more than willing to trade my wallet with a friends' for ten minutes of gleeful exploration; there's just something about what people keep in there that says so much about them. I know Howard Hughes knows this. Remember the scene in The Breakfast Club when the gang exchanges wallets? In our adult lives, however, I find we get away from this habit. In this day of identity theft, we're taught to keep our goods close to our chests. But then again, I know I stopped seeking out other people's wallets after going through one in particular. It belonged to a male friend of mine who was a coworker one summer. In it, I found something made by our fine friends at Durex.

Very recently I found myself at a nail salon in the North Beach section of San Francisco one lovely Sunday evening. My very good friend and I were calmly sitting, waiting for our toenails to dry and for our skilled nail technicians to accept payment from us. With our wallets out on tables in front of us, we poked fun at our ID photos and relayed the stories behind them. I was once again reminded of the fascinating topic of the contents of the wallets of others. So I decided to grant the readers of this blog the thing that would be my own personal dream-come-true. I'm going to document what's in my wallet (in the way that Only I can...)

1. Bloomie's Yogurt Club Card: It is a fact known only among a Select Few that Bloomingdale's has the greatest Plain Frozen Yogurt on the planet. It's this wonderful white tangy mixture of sweet and tart flavors. About two years ago, they finally revealed the nutrition facts of this crack-like frozen treat and I was estatic to find out that it's actually not that bad for me, either, which has of course only increased my zeal. Anyway, this yogurt has such a cult following that there is in existence a Bloomie's Yogurt Club Card, and it is in my wallet. I have four stamps on it right now. I need seven for a free yogurt. I'll keep you posted of my progress.

2. New York Blood Center Donation Card: This is a real shame. I donated blood a total of three times with this organization, but stopped due to the fact that I'm simply not good at it. "Nah uh!" you are thinking, "Grow up Mary, and admit that you are simply a wuss!" Unfortunately, this is not the case. I have a rolling vein which is just not good at pumping out blood. The result of this is that everytime I go to donate, I end up hooked up to the needle for about 25 minutes before they finally realize that they are not going to get a full bag. To top that off, I always start to freak out around minute #20 (so maybe I am a little bit of a wuss). All that work, and I never turn out a full bag. You'd stop too. I keep the card because it has my blood type on it, in case I ever need a transfusion....which my rolling vein will inhibit.....life is just so damn ironic sometimes, don't you think?!

3. A Receipt from Ann Taylor LOFT: For a skirt I bought the same day as my parent's anniversary. I went from the store to meet them at a restaurant where I treated them to Filet Mignon and cocktails. Only the best to celebrate 30 years together. And my debit card didn't even decline!!

4. My Tiffany & Co. Identification Card: Yes, for three summers I worked in one of New York City's retail institutions. I don't know why I still carry it. I don't think it will even get me into The Met for free anymore.

5. Ticket Stub from the San Francisco MOMA dated 5-23-05: Now some of you may be sensing a pattern in my life regarding a certain city. I've fallen head over heels for San Francisco, and am currently holding onto a small memento from my first trip there (there has since been a second).

6. Delta Sky Miles Club Card: This is the result of three months of traveling hell between October and December of 2005 (see previous entry), when I was traveling back and forth between New York and Atlanta quite frequently. The low point during this time was when I told my Atlanta coworkers to have a good weekend, flew back to New York on a Friday night and flew back to Atlanta that Sunday to be with them again on Monday. Anyway, I racked up a fairly decent amount of miles. And there is also the considerable fact that I will now always be able to board in Zone Three on any Delta flight. It's the little things. Those overhead bins are prime real estate, buster.

7. American Express Corporate Card: Also a souvenir from becoming a seasoned business traveler. Here's something slightly amusing: it currently has a credit of $1.10

8. Duane Reade Dollar Rewards Card: Duane Reade Drug Stores are kind of like Au Bon Pain: an inexplicably and quintessentially New-York-thing. Something that is a quintessentially Mary-thing is this: when I'm stressed out, I tend to relieve that tension by taking a trip to Duane and buying something superfluous. There really needs to be a section in my budget devoted to Duane Reade. I had a rough day at work today, and after work I ended up at Duane Reade because I needed stockings. Apparently I also needed hair dye and easter candy.

9. My New York State Non-Driver's Identification: Yes, it is the tragic fact that at 25 I am still legally not allowed to get behind the wheel of a car. It has been brought to my attention that New York is the only city in the United States that will let me get away with this. Well, New York and San Francisco (there she goes again...) Regardless, I'm attached to my ID because I like my picture. I worked hard on it. It was taken on a hot and humid day after a rough, rough, rough week. In spite of these challenging "environmental" factors, my eyes are still bright, my smile is still wide, and my hair is shiny and not in a weird shape. It a nauseatingly corny way, all I have to do is look at my ID photo to remind myself that I show a strong face to the world even when I feel like my heart might come out of my mouth.

10. Metrocard: Duh. I just told you I can't drive.

11. My DSW "Reward Your Style" Card: Which I am to have scanned everytime I purchase a pair of shoes at DSW. Allegedly, everytime I spend $250, I get a parade.

12. My Barnes and Noble Membership Card: People, if you are a dork like me (who basically goes to B&N even just to 'visit' the books sometimes), then you need one of these cards. With every purchase you get a discount. A discount!! Mine was a gift, actually, and so it also reminds me of the person who gave it to me. Awwwwwww.

13. Insurance Cards: My grandmother always told me not to wear underwear with holes in it in the event that a random bout of pernicious appendicitis were to come over me suddenly. Apparently E.R. docs are allowed to refuse care to those with frayed edges. While I have trouble believing this, the threat of random pernicious appendicitis striking me down is a latent fear of mine, so I figure it's a better idea to have my Aetna card at all times.

14. The Hodge-Podge Pocket: Yes, my wallet even has a special place where things go to die. In it you will find reminder cards for teeth cleanings I've already had, business cards of doctor's I no longer see and friends I don't keep in touch with, and credit cards I don't dare use because paying off the balance was hard enough the first time. I guess it just goes to show...from our apartments, to our offices, to our wallets, to our lives...we generally like to have a place where we can put things we no longer need, but can't quite bring ourselves to discard.

Notice the one thing not in my wallet: a Capital One Card.