I am always amazed at the broad spectrum of people who are brought into our lives to throw us off. They enter into our neat little black-and-white lives with a messy box of Crayola crayons and just reek havoc. One person that has "colored" my life in such a way is Jeremy. Without a doubt, Jeremy ranks in the Top Five of The Strangest People I know. Jeremy kisses everyone he meets (not on the cheeks), had known me for twenty minutes before he asked if I'd like to "smoke up," has a suit that makes him look eerily like a priest, and gets lost in the Culture Club. Of course, he is currently attending Harvard Law School.
All this out on the table, I guess it goes without saying that he is also a pretty opinionated and passionate guy. It is one of the things that he said, one time, that has stuck with me and has gone on to become the subject of this blog.
Jeremy said that the notion of having a "job" is dangerous because it causes the job-holder to adopt a pre-prescribed identity (blah, blah, blah, the guy smokes weed). Jesting aside, it got me thinking about the jobs that I've had, and how they've shaped me. It's like we all start out at ages 16-18 as blank sheets of paper, and the jobs that we take write all over us...
It's easy for me to write this blog because I am currently extremely happy with what I do. I have one of those jobs that you have to explain (you can't just say "I'm a doctor, I'm an accountant, I'm a fireman..." and be done with it). I underwrite life insurance. "Underwrite" is a verb...? Basically, I work for a life insurance company, and when an individual comes in for an insurance policy, he/she needs to be underwritten by me. I look at financial, personal, and medical history, and come up with an appropriate rating. I know how to read bloodwork, and I get to spend all day lookin' at everyone's dirty laundry. This actually makes me pretty happy. I would say that a part of me does identify myself as an underwriter...I like to go to underwriting conferences and I like to engage in conversations about underwriting-related things (also, they usually serve steak and alcohol!), but Jeremy's rambling, coupled with the fact that I am now in a job that I probably won't be leaving any time soon, got me thinking about what the jobs we've have done to shape the people we've become.
I've known former waiters who are extremely uptight about the service they get in restaurants because they understand proper procedures and etiquette. My friend Matt goes nuts when I forget to tip in Starbucks because of the time he spent as a "barista." My own curse is that I am a retail-escapee, therefore I know my Retail Rights as a customer. Shopping would be so much easier if I were still one of the ignorant masses...
Other jobs I've had include being the receptionist at a Catholic Church on the Upper East Side, being a live-in nanny out in Great Neck, Long Island, and working as a trained tutor in my former university's Writing Center. Now I will regale you with a brief synopsis of the life lessons I've gathered from my own job experience.
From NANNYING I learned:
1. Never, EVER, fail to appreciate people whose job it is to provide service. Being a hired staff member of a wealthy family was a sobering experience. From Monday at 9 am to Friday at 4 pm they owned my time. The family had this maid, Elaine, who was extremely quiet and made herself kind of fade into the woodwork. Over the course of the time I was there, we became friends and I found out how unhappy she was working there (as was I). She is the person who told me to "know when to cry" as she did one night when we were talking. Elaine taught me not just to look at people, but to really see them.
2. Changing dirty diapers is disgusting, but I suspect that it will be slightly easier when I am performing this service for my own kid.
3. You can slather on SPF 45 every day and still get the tan of your life.
4. Never forget to thank the people who prepare your food, clean up after you, and raise your friggin' children.
From TUTORING I learned:
1. People are really sensitive about their writing. If they think they can't do it, it's the most frustrating thing in the world for them, so you have to tread lightly.
2. I will never find a job where I will be paid for doing my own homework again.
3. Learn the difference between making someone rise to the occasion, and simply working them too hard.
From RETAIL I learned:
1. If you behave obnoxiously as a shopper in a store, but the sales people are still gracious to you, it doesn't mean they aren't wishing you will trip and fall on your way out. We'd make customer voodoo dolls, but we're too exhausted at the effort it takes not to roll our eyes for arts and crafts.
2. People have bad days, and often they will transfer their frustration from that bad day to the first helpless person they deal with...often that someone is behind a counter at a store. Please people, squeeze a "stressball" instead or something.
3. Over the years I had a lot of incredibly lovely customers to counterbalance the nightmares. They brought me everything from magazines to chocolate. The most rewarding thing they could have done, however, was to tell my manager how much they enjoyed my service. A lesson for all, if you receive good service in a store, take the time to tell a higher-up, you might seriously help a career form.
4. I love shopping, but that's about the extent of the exposure I like to get to stores. I would rather do almost anything than work in retail again. A shopping addiction does not a retail career make.
From UNDERWRITING I learned:
1. Always C.Y.A. (Cover Your ;O). As a trainee over the past 18 months I've had to get a signature on everything I do for a case because it's a legal document, and I'm a young chickadee. This is part of the reason why I sleep soundly at night: if I ever end up in court, my well-seasoned higher ups will be right there with me.
2. Sometimes fields you try to resist come and find you anyway. My mother is a nurse. Because of this, she always wanted me to be a doctor. Though I viewed biology as perhaps one of the most intensive things a person can study (personal bias), I still felt I lacked the extreme discipline it would take to go to med school and "make it happen." I did my studying, however, made it through AP Bio, but when I got to college I followed my love of words and majored in English. Medicine found me anyway through underwriting. I spend a good deal of my day reading medical shorthand and making sense of terms like "neuropathy" and "hyperlipidemia," and I love it. I decided not to go the med school route, but I still get to explore my fascination with medicine.
3. You can have the greatest, most highest paying job in the world with fat-free, calorie free Godiva chocolate waiting on your desk everyday....it doesn't matter if you don't have wonderful co-workers. I am continually amazed and how I lucked out with my fellow underwriters. Not only do I respect the hell out of them, but the support they've given me has meant a lot to me. Recently I returned to work after weathering an illness that took everything out of me. I was sitting at my desk in front of a huge bag of Saltines and a giant jug of blue Gatorade when some of my coworkers came to chat and check up on me. Soon we were laughing good belly laughs, and I thought to myself "wow, that's the first laugh I've had in a long time....it's really good to be here." Yup, that right there. That's it.
I get what Jeremy, dressed in his priest-y outfit, was trying to say. You can't let the job you have define your entire identity. It is undeniable, however, that we retain valuable experiences from the jobs we've had, and that these experiences seep into our personalities. I say amen, because often placing ourselves into others' shoes through our jobs makes us more sensitive and more patient in our own personal dealings. More sensitivity and patience....yes, the world could definitely benefit from that.
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